Crafting better then anti depression meds and pain killers, really?

Yes recently CNN released an article talking about how crafting might be a great way to help treat depression, anxiety, chronic pain, fatigue, dementia and even PTSD. Who knew that what I've been creating for years would be helping me in so many ways. 

 In the study it shows how it can decrease stress and increase happiness along with fight the mental battle of aging. 

I know from personal experience when I crafting I'm able to decrease the feeling of sadness and aniexty.  My problem comes into play that I struggle and have a hyper focus kicks in and nothing else around me seems to matter. It's like meditation on a different scale. I tend to get lost in my crafts.   

According to CNN, one study of over 3,500 knitters found that “81% of respondents with depression reported feeling happy after knitting. More than half reported feeling ‘very happy.'” previous studies have shown that other crafts have been shown to do have the same effect.  Sadly there is still not enough studit's dine on the subject as of yet.  Let's hope there is soon . 

So next time your feeling blue pick up your favorite craft and go to town! Don't have a craft well it looks like you should be finding one very soon to help you.  

Below I've attached the link to the CNN study and my etsy account so you can experience my crafting first hand. 

CNN :
http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/25/health/brain-crafting-benefits/index.html

My Etsy:
http://etsy.me/2iIHJJh

Letting Go part 1

Is it truly possible to let go?

This has been a continuous question that I keep coming back to. Is it possible to grow and move past a life of a traumatic childhood.

Why at 31 am I struggling so deeply with dealing with a traumatic child hood. Some may say I'm just sort of whiny spoiled child that was never abused physically or verbally.  My trauma stems from being misunderstood, isolating and unable to properly display emotions which have caused mental health issues. 

I've been deeply trying to work through being part of a broken home, feeling unwanted and unloved on both sides equally.  I yearned so deeply to have someone love me and understand me. 

Looking back at my past romantic relationships before I found the one spirit that matched mine in so many ways. Part of letting go means losing part of a control that will never be yours to own.

Feeling pained even now when I hear something from an outside source that once again makes you feel like a failure and pains you more deeply then you thought it would.  What I realized after feel deeply angriered, but was covering my true emotion which what pain. Once again I felt this feeling slowly sinking me deeply into shame and sadness. Why was I allowing words to effect me so deeply?

Why does it truly matter to me? This person doesn't determine my life and my goals. But yet someone how the words I heard were those of which I heard through out my childhood. 

What made me such an evil person that they could not forgiven? I am far from a perfect person but I strive and aim to be a good person.

Often I would spend nights awake as a child and even now as an adult asking "why was I unloveable? ". I have a feeling that there are a few other people like myself from broken homes thst might be struggling with the same plaguing question. 

I'm here to say your not alone and you are loved! I have started to finely come to terms with love for myself. I recently discovered I have a talent for clay and sculpting.   From the chaos and sadness comes such beauty.

I know this seems like a depressive subject for what is to be a happy and jolly season. Sadly for so many this is not the case. Instead it creates a even deeper sadness.

Remember you are never alone! Happy yule and seasons greetings to everyone.

Phoenix ever rising, mental health and its crippling effect.

            

       So lets get down to the nitty gritty and not sugar coat this subject. Mental Illness, when you hear those words that come to mind? Stigma at its core definition is a sign of disgrace and discredits the individual with the diagnosis. For some reason society still chooses to see people with a illness due to mental health as a sigh of weakness. Would you tell someone that has cancer that they are a weaker person or less of a person because of there condition? Sadly shame then follows in suit when you start being labelled with any sort of mental deficiency. So what happens to most people that experience the stigma of mental illness: Shame, Self blame/hatred, secrecy (which can be deadly at times), feeling like the outsider or black sheep, Isolation, socially withdrawing, and discrimination. 

         I have personally felt the stigma due to a label that in all honestly was not the correct diagnosis. This may be hard for some of my close person friends and family to hear but I will be telling my side of when I started feeling like the black sheep. At a very young age from what I have been told I had very unusual tendency which seem to have now been passed on to my children. I did not understand why I did most of the thing I did and sadly over 20 years ago they did not have the understanding they do now about certain mental health conditions. I still to this day carry some of the traits that may seem odd to some but are perfectly normal for me.

          As a teenager I felt alone, angry, fearful, and unloved most of all. My mother was not around, my father worked most of the time, and my step mother was cold. I would withdraw but at the end of the day I was a remarkably good child. I never snuck out of the house, I didn't do drugs or party. Honestly the worst thing I ever remember doing was sneaking my boyfriend in once when my parents where not there. Yes I did do the petty lies here and there but that was the worst of it. I worked very hard at school even with the dyslexia and I was able to hide among many groups by putting up "masks". I had no true friends to speak of only passing acquaintance. Sadly to this day that is still a norm for me. I have managed to form close bonds with a few select people but it can still become straining when I start to withdraw and isolate.

          As a young adult I had the same high school sweet heart and we were working on 8 years when stress took over and changed my world. We were expecting our first child and at my 12 week check up we found there was no heart beat which was the start of my down world spiral into major depression and anxiety. Then shortly after my grandfather fell and no one expected him to survive the accident but the universe had other plans for him. I remember the day I wanted to take my own like as crystal clear as the day my children were born. I went looking for the bullets to my boyfriends shot gun I just could not take it any longer. Once I could not find them I called my doctor and I was admitted into a mental health facility. It was terrifying and I felt completely and utterly hopeless. What did this mean for my future what was wrong with me?

          I ended losing my job due to the fact I was used more as a guinea pig for medications and could never seem to get any better. The constant depression and crippling anxiety were barely tolerable most days. I was very proud of the job I had for over 4 years and I had worked diligently to get the promotions that I wanted. Since then I have struggled to keep a job for a multitude of different reasons more due to physical health conditions now but others due to the mental  health deficiency I was now dealing with every day.

         Soon after losing my job and I ended my relationship of 8 years. I started dating a new guy that was verbally abusive but all I wanted was to be loved. I ended up pregnant with my beautiful blue eyed red haired angel. What came after her birth was the darkest time in my life. Post-partum depression is one of the most devastating things I have ever experience. I would barely sleep, I was lucky if I ate every couple of days and I also had thoughts of harming my beautiful baby girl that I so desperately wanted, especially after being told I would never bare children. 

          I remember the day I had to be admitted into another mental health facility because my mental stability was declining and if I allowed it to continue I would of harmed either my daughter or myself. Most likely it would of been myself. 7 years later and I still grieve for the lose of my children.I still blame myself and hate myself for not being a "stronger" person. At its core I was strong though I got help and gave both my children the fighting chance to have stability that I could not provide for them at the time. I will not go into much details about my son, but the wonderful family that adopted him are amazing and I could never thank them enough for taking my son and raising him as there own.

         After both adoptions were final I became aimless and would float from place to place and had no real purpose to my life. I was accepted into a school here in Indiana so decided to give myself some distance and moved in well more jumped into another abusive relationship as I had done many times before. I thought this  man was would love me even with all my odd quarks and habits.I remember the the night we were married when we got to the hotel room him saying "well that the paper is signed your my property now." I shrugged it off as a joke but would soon learn to him it was not a joke. We were married just shy of a year after meeting. The marriage lasted less then 6 months due to physical and mental abuse at his hands. I finally was able to escape that nightmare but still felt so alone and hopeless and helpless.

           Now for the last three years I have been blessed to be with a man that is kind, gentle, caring, compassionate, well list could keep going I think you get the point. He changed something in me and I felt alive again and not aimless and hopeless. I had a companion that wanted to listen and wanted to see me as more then a diagnosis on a piece of paper. I say I give him all the credit but that is farthest from the truth, I have friends who love me like family, almost family who are always there when I need them and my fuzzy kitties and a big black bear who knocks over all things with there whilly tail. Along with trying to repair old bonds that have been broken for more years then I can count.

          I am unable to go into great detail as to why I recently had a completely breakdown. All that needs to be said is the love of my life almost died. It rattled me to my core and even though after 5 years of no pharmaceuticals, my homeopathic remedies where just not able to assist as they normally would of. I started to hide away and isolate myself. I still struggle just to walk the door because panic sets in and I feel it crippling me. 

          I finally went to see the doctor who was a resident and he decided to place me on Depakote. I had warned him of my adverse reactions to mood stabilizers in the past but he still encouraged me to try them. By Saturday I was an emotional roller coaster and then Sunday rolled around and I was hearing voices that would tell me things that were horrific. Just a little background I am not schizophrenic so this was brand new for me. I ended up self harming and was taken in another mental health facility. 

         So its not just the general public but also trained physicians that spend less then 30 minutes with a patient before placing a label. I felt like all they heard was family history of Bipolar disorder so there for that is what I have. I was also unaware of a genetic test that can be done to determine which medications would best work with your body. 

           The hardest part through all of this is the stigma I have to fight against with my own personal family. I feel as if I am only seen as a diagnosis and not as ME. Because guess what there is such beauty in my that if you remove a label and finally choose to let the past go you would be amazed. This isn't a curse but secretly a blessing. If it were not for the way my brain chemistry was I would not be able to have the creativity and compassion I have. My life is not what you would call perfect but I love it. I am no longer living by what someone else thinks should be what I look like stable. I am stable for me!!!! I may have moments that I will struggle and need an extra boost but that is why I called it the Phoenix ever rising. From my ashes I will rise happier and more loved then I could ever imagine.

Please feel free to comment and remember........

Whats causing your roots to be out of Sync

Holistic advice. Healing naturally.  Have you ever felt like the world is sitting on your shoulders woke being pulled apart in 5 different directions? Well I know that feeling oh to well. Many people have heard me speak of our chakras and how they play a virtual roll in your physical and psychological health. So what does it mean that your chakras are unbalanced? Well let's talk about each to have a better understanding.

Your chakras are the energy centers of the body: first we find the Root chakra that sits at the base of your spine.

1st Root chakra: 

Physical impairments suck as problems in the legs, hips, tailbone and productive organs can play a part in an imbalance . On the emotional side of this chakra you can feel that your basic survival needs such as money, shelter and food or ability to provide for life necessities have taken a hit. Some little known medical issues that can occur from an imbalance in your Root is degenerative arthritis, knee and back pain including the sciatic, eating disorders have been known to happen along with bowl issues. 

When your root is balanced you will feel lifted and supported. You will often have a sense of connection and safety to the physical world around you. Since this is the root you will feel grounded most of all. Self preservation and your sense right to being here is the key to this chakra.

2nd

Sacral Chakra:

This is located two inches about the belly button. Some Physical impairments that affect this Chakra are sexual and reproductive issues, urinary concerns included in the kidneys, hips pelvis and lower back pain. When it comes to the emotional side of this imbalance, you may struggle with commitment in relationships. Your ability to express emotions openly. Sad fact is your Core Fun and desires including creativity and pleasure are a major down side to a blockage.

When this Chakra is in balanced we are finally able to take those risks we have been fearing to do such as opening a shop or public speaking. When this 2nd chakra is at its peak you will find yourself passionate, sexually strong and confident and outgoing.

When you should learn most from this Chakra is to Honor not just yourself but others as well. 

There are 5 more to go but lets focus on the two we have learned about today. Since it has been shown to best heal your Chakra you must learn and start from the root and go up. Remember your root is your core and your Sacral is your creativity and passion. So here are some great ways to start opening up both of these key Chakra. 

Now imagine you are building a foundation for a home when it comes to your root. This is your solid foundation upon which to build a healthy balance. Mediation is going to be key to healing any imbalance you may have. Through mediation you will connect with your higher self. This has been called many names when reaching that higher plan:  you can call it what you wish, higher power, Consciousness, Mother Nature, God, Gods, or even spirit. I would like you to ponder on something all the creatures in the forest do not always know if they will eat each day but they trust in nature that they will be provided for. 

Smells can be closely related to this first Chakra: some excellent choices to help are Cedar-wood, Frankincense, Myrrh, and Patchouli. For the more experienced with herbs Angelica Root, Benzion, Oak-moss, Spikenard, and Vetiver. 

For all you Yoga lovers out there I would suggest: 

• Pavanamuktasana, knee to chest pose
• Janu Sirsansana, head to knee Pose
• Padmasana, lotus flexion
• Malasana, squatting pose

For women try practicing your Kegal excises. The Mantra Sound that corresponds most with the root chakra is LAM. Finally and one of my favorites are colors and gems to help you. The root Chakra is Red so that in it self can bring several gemstones to mind such as Red Jasper, Blood-stone, and Garnet. All you need to do is place the gemstone on the area of the chakra while laying down to help you open you and align yourself.

The Sacral Chakra is your creativity center along with your sexual chakra. You can find this chakra above the pubic bone but below the navel and does cover the genital area and the hypo gastric plexus. This is the dwelling place of self. The element for this chakra is water which ties hand in hand with cohesiveness. You know this 2nd Chakra is balanced when you have an overall feeling of wellness, pleasure, joy, and abundance. As I state above what its like to have this chakra unbalanced feels like.

Since this chakra ties directly into creativity which can encompass procreation but its not just limited to making a living being. Even when you craft, bake, garden we are creating in different ways. I want you to bare in mind that any time you take raw or old material even if its physical or mental and we take it and turn it into something brand new we are using our creative energy. 

What is truly sad is as we get older we are often discourage from using our creative side and this starts early for most. Sadly once we pass a certain state in school we no longer allow ourselves to create freely as we once did. There for we become a less creative being and hence an imbalance within this chakra. Why are we ok with allowing this imbalance within ourselves and there for our off spring. Who says that we have to follow and accept what others tell us is write or follow the latest trend instead of following our creative instincts. Passion is a key to this Chakra. 

To awaken this creative energy you need to take a steep back and play like a child. Sadly this is a hard thing for most people to do. Do you know why though? I have often observed that we stop taking creative risks because somewhere along the way we were told we just weren't good or could never do it. In opening your second chakra you have to take that risk even if you think your going to fail. 

Processing your emotions is also a key to finding that balance. If you cant get in touch with your emotions you will not ever find balance in this chakra. Don't be afraid to cry its not a weakness in fact its a blessing. Crying and feeling every emotion is a blessing even if its intense. 

A great breaking technique I have come across is called Left nostril breathing often called Ida Nadi breathing. Simply close your right nostril with the first two fingers of your right hand and inhale and exhale through the left nostril, only for 8 to 10 breaths. You have to also realize you must let go of your past to really clear out that chakra. Mediation that you will want to focus on when opening this chakra are:

• Seated pelvic circles: Sitting in a cross-legged or half-lotus pose with your hands on your knees, make circles with your torso. Go around in one direction 5 or 6 times and then switch directions.
• Baddha konasana (butterfly pose) with forward fold: In a seated position, bring the bottoms of your feet together. Let your knees drop to the sides and bring your heels in close to your pelvis. Lengthen the torso and fold forward.
• Bhujangasana (cobra pose): Lie on your stomach with your feet flat on the floor. Place your hands under your shoulders and slowly lift your head, chest, and abdomen while keeping your naval on the floor. Be sure to press down through the pubic bone toward the mat.

Your Mantra sound that best corresponds to the 2nd chakra is VAM. Some herbs and some fun little foodie ideas to help: Apricot Brandy, Apricot, Calendula Petals, Orange Peels, Jasmine flowers, and Coriander. 

I would love to hear from anyone that reads this and let me know if it has helped anyone. Also if your intrested in a handcrafted Chakra pendant visit my etsy store for more items. 

https://www.etsy.com/listing/484394270/chakra-turquoise-earthy-drop-pendant